Part 6: Networking Isn’t What You Think…

Networking is scary for a lot of people. But if you’re scared, then networking isn’t what you think.

Networking is actually a way of seeing the world.

And that way involves seeing all the potential opportunities in front of you and connections you could possibly make, and then deciding (on a case-by-case basis) which ones you want to act on.

Here is some information that will help you recognize good opportunities, and take the right steps to maximize their benefit:

Networking in person? Do this first.

If you’re attending an in-person networking event, showing up isn’t the first thing you should do. These four easy actions will give your networking a head start.

A week in advance, connect with them.

Back in the 20th century, not only were you in the dark about who’d be there, you also couldn’t connect in advance. Not so in the 21st century.

Now, because of all the information available, there are multiple ways to reach out in advance to lay the foundation with choice prospects for a potentially fruitful connection. You can:

1. Connect on LinkedIn. Because you are both attending the same event, you have a genuine reason to connect and a built-in opening to connect with. Simply write, “I see you’re attending the X or Y Conference next week. I am too and would love to connect and meet you there. I think we might be a good fit.” (And choose “colleague” when asked how you know them.)

2. Start a discussion on LinkedIn. If the event or the group hosting the event has a LinkedIn Group, join it and use the opportunity of the upcoming event to initiate a discussion on a topic related to the event topic or simply to ask who’s going. That way, you’ll already know a few people when you get there.

3. Pre-tweet. Follow and then send a tweet to anyone you want to meet, especially the speakers. This not only buys you some mental real estate; it also establishes goodwill by giving them visibility to your followers. In less than 100 characters, you can say, “Looking forward to meeting at the conference. I’ll be there too and will say hello.”

4. Follow them on Twitter or “Like” their FB page. Facebook is generally used more for personal than for business. But it can’t hurt to connect there too, if it seems appropriate.

Four contacts you need in your network now

It’s impossible to do everything by yourself, especially when you’re self-employed and trying to grow your own business. That’s why networking is absolutely essential to your success.

But networking isn’t about tacky events, schmoozing sales people and uncomfortable socializing; it’s simply a way of looking at and living in the world.

Your network is your most important asset. But it has to be intentional, rather than happenstance.

You must know what and who you need, then figure out what’s missing, so you can find it.

The first step is determining what you can do yourself and what others can do better than you can.

This takes practice, but once you figure it out, you will need to develop different categories of relationships within your network.

Make a spreadsheet with the following four categories and begin to fill out names of people you know in each to determine where you might need more connections.

1. Clients and customers. Many people don’t think about clients as part of their network, but they’re actually a very important part. First of all, they pay you and you couldn't do your work without them. Secondly, if you develop strong relationships with clients, you can keep them around for a while rather than always having to look for new ones.

Think about which client relationships you can build on. Who can you offer more to?

When was the last time you were in touch with clients you’d like to continue working with? If it’s been a while, reach out today.

2. Peers and colleagues. If you have a hectic project and no manpower or are looking for a new perspective on a challenge you’re tackling, you should be able to reach out for help to someone from your network of peers and colleagues.

They can help you with overflow and you can help them (just don’t confuse peers with competitors).

3. Mentors. Paid or unpaid, formal or informal, near or far, mentors come in all shapes and sizes.

Which traits make them mentor material? They’ve been there before and they can guide you.

Too many people are unjustly embarrassed by what they don’t know. This prevents them from looking for help, which inhibits growth.

Don’t be stubborn. Seek the guidance of a mentor and you’ll accelerate your success.

4. Referral sources. Any of the people above can be referral sources, too.

The best referral sources are the people who know you well, understand your strengths, and recognize the kind of assistance or customers you need.

They are open, always networking and love to help. Make sure to invest time with these people. Identify the "connectors" in your network and get to know them better over coffee or Skype.

Real networking is an ongoing effort to cultivate relationships. Forget about awkward interactions and stale cheese plates. The best way to create a great network is to be open and authentic in your daily dealings with people. Strive to help others yourself and it will come back to you tenfold.

Marinate in these ideas. It takes time to change bad habits.